Before I had Londyn, I lived in sweet oblivion when I thought of marriage with a newborn. I guess I assumed life would go on as normal, there would just be an added tiny human in the room. It never occured to me that many more factors would play a part in our new life.
Of course the 1st and most obvious change is that I now care for more life than just mine. Now, don't twist my words, I care about my husband's well being, but he is a grown man who can provide and protect himself. As far as I know, he can bathe himself, use the restroom by himself, feed himself, and clothe himself; and if there is anything he needs me for, he can form words and tell me exactly what he needs. (Thanks heavens he doesn't just scream and cry and make me guess as a newborn does) All of these things, and many more, are things that Londyn needs me for. One can see how days can go by without any laundry being done, or perhaps how a new parent would get to the end of the day only to realize that he or she hadn't eaten all day. (Aside from the stale cookie you at at 6 a.m. because it was the only readily available food)
Another less obvious factor, especially to men, is hormonal changes! Your emotions as a new mom are all over the place. You are lost in your child's eyes one moment, whisper-screaming at your husband the next second because you don't want to wake the baby but you want to make sure he understands that you're not happy. You may even cry because the pizza place made you the wrong pizza and your husband didn't think to check before leaving the establishment. Some of these emotions can be blamed on pure fatigue, but mostly on hormones. Imagine a beach ball that is trying to be shoved to the bottom of a swimming pool. That is the kind of instability we feel as women with hormal imbalance after having a baby!!
Time is of the essence. That is why you must allow yourself twice the amount of time to get ready than you needed before the baby was here. Also, you learn to cut your shower time from 20 minutes to 5, blow drying your hair becomes a lost art for a while, and you only fix your hair on 2 occasions; you're going to church, or you have someone coming over and you want them to think you have it together. (though the bags under your eyes say otherwise) You find yourself planning trips to the store, visualizing the layout in your head, figuring out what you absolutely need, and what you can send your husband to get later. If you breast feed, you plan your day in 2-3 hour stints, knowing where your pitstops can be for those times the baby needs to eat, or where you can stop for emergency diaper blowout changes.
And so the last thing on your mind, so appropriately placed as last for the purpose of this blog, is your marriage. If he loves me, he'll always be there right? If he loves me, he can deal with being on the backburner for a while right? If he loves me....this is such a manipulative and unfair statement. I am guilty of thinking this way, though I may not say it aloud. Today I was searching and searching for a devotional for first time parents. I was looking for some real-life conversation and experience from Godly couples who not only survived, but THRIVED after having their first child. It is a lot to handle. I don't know how those without faith do it because I do HAVE faith, and I still can't figure it out. Mike and I love each other so much, and we are blessed with an amazing relationship, but I would be lying if I tried to say its all been butterflies and candle-lit dinners. I never want to forget where things began and want to be constantly rekindling the flame. I don't know where to begin, all I know is that I'm determined to find a reason every day to feel EXCITED about our marriage! Londyn is a blessing. She is the happiest, most fun and beautiful baby! However, Mike and I did not get married so that we could have children. We got married because we LOVE each other. I never want to forget that. By the way I never found that devotional I was looking for. Maybe I will write my own one day if God leads me ;) Until then, there's no better devotional than His word itself, plain and simple.
I know tonight didn't feature a whole lot about Londyn, but it has a lot of insight that I feel may be helpful for those who are expecting or are thinking about trying to start a family. Most of all, this blog is something I can look back on in the future as a reference and will hopefully encourage me with future children. Thanks for reading. (I know it has been a while, we've been in the process of moving and getting settled and have not had internet.)
Monday, April 28, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Heaven Help Me!!!
The title of this blog is exactly what was going through my mind on March 27th 2014. It was Londyn's 2 month birthday. That alone was hard to come to terms with. I was the mother of a TWO MONTH OLD! When did this happen??? Heaven help me!!!
To start off the day, I hopped in the shower while Mike stayed in bed with Londyn! Her sleep schedule through the night hadn't gone as planned, but I was hoping I could still make it through my shower before she woke up. Wrong. Trying to take a shower with a newborn is like trying to diffuse a ticking time bomb. You go as fast as you can, and pray for the best! The tricky times are when it's just me and Londyn. I will pull her into the bathroom with me, usually while she's asleep, and just hope the white noise of the running shower will buy me at least 10 minutes so I can scramble through washing my hair and body so I can be presentable to the world. This day, was not one of those days. She woke up after me being in the shower about 5 minutes. Thankfully, her daddy was graceful and walked around with her until I could get out to feed her. The rest of the morning I was rushing around just to get HER ready, let alone myself. It was just one of those mornings. It can only go up from here right? Heaven help me.
Well, so we head out the door to her 2 month check up, and as I try to mentally prepare myself for her shots, all the while, I'm also trying to finish my make up along the way. While en route, I hear Londyn make a dirty diaper! No big deal, I'll just change her as soon as we get there. Plus, it will help me justify being 5 minutes late to her appointment. We get to the doctor's office and check in, and I head down to the bathroom to change Londyn. I get her out of the carseat only to realize my hand is covered. Heaven help me. I shouldn't have to go into much detail, just use your imagination. So, 5 wet wipes and 10 minutes later, Londyn is finally clean. Oh, by the way, remember how I said we were running late? In the mix, I forgot to pack an extra outfit for Londyn. So what did I do? What any good (forgetful) parent would do. I made a baby blanket toga for my baby girl.
Her check up went great! Found out she was just over 24 inches long, in the 97th percentile, and her weight was 11lbs 14 ounces. That brought her in at the 80th percentile. Hard to believe she was 3 weeks early with those numbers! Her Doctor asked a series of questions, went through a couple of exercises with Londyn, and concluded she was "early" in development for a baby her age! Mike and I were SO proud! We have such a big, and SMART baby girl! Then came time for the dreaded shots. Heaven help me! Naturally, she cried when they gave them to her. As soon as I picked her up and comforted her for a couple minutes, she was back to her smily, happy-go-lucky self! I was so proud of my tough girl!
Later that day, we spent an hour and a half with H&R Block filing taxes. Heaven help me! Why it took so long....I do not know. It seemed even longer than that to me because I knew if Londyn woke up, she would be sore, and she would NOT be happy!(again, ticking time-bomb) She did so good though, making it all the way until the end! I took her to the car as dad finished up. Londyn woke up and just as I predicted, she wasn't happy. I have never heard my baby girl cry as hard as she did for those 30 pain-staking minutes. I cried with her, heaven HELP ME! We gave her some tylenol, and drove in circles around the parking lot trying to console her. After what seemed like an eternity, we got her calmed down enough to put her in the carseat, and drive home. I fed her, held her, and rocked her for the rest of the day and night.
To any first time mommies, I wish someone had told ME this bit of advice BEFORE her shots; give your baby a dose of baby tylenol about 20 minutes before the shots, so that you can try to get ahead of the pain. Waiting until they are IN pain to give it to them is miserable for everyone involved!!
Then to end my day, one of my best friends finally made the announcement that she and her husband are expecting their first baby in October!! I was elated!! HEAVEN HELP ME! I now have 2 best friends expecting babies in consecutive months, one in September, and one in October! I absolutely can't wait for the fall!
March 27th was a day for the books to many. However any other mother knows, thats just a day in the life of motherhood. I love every.single.minute.
To start off the day, I hopped in the shower while Mike stayed in bed with Londyn! Her sleep schedule through the night hadn't gone as planned, but I was hoping I could still make it through my shower before she woke up. Wrong. Trying to take a shower with a newborn is like trying to diffuse a ticking time bomb. You go as fast as you can, and pray for the best! The tricky times are when it's just me and Londyn. I will pull her into the bathroom with me, usually while she's asleep, and just hope the white noise of the running shower will buy me at least 10 minutes so I can scramble through washing my hair and body so I can be presentable to the world. This day, was not one of those days. She woke up after me being in the shower about 5 minutes. Thankfully, her daddy was graceful and walked around with her until I could get out to feed her. The rest of the morning I was rushing around just to get HER ready, let alone myself. It was just one of those mornings. It can only go up from here right? Heaven help me.
Well, so we head out the door to her 2 month check up, and as I try to mentally prepare myself for her shots, all the while, I'm also trying to finish my make up along the way. While en route, I hear Londyn make a dirty diaper! No big deal, I'll just change her as soon as we get there. Plus, it will help me justify being 5 minutes late to her appointment. We get to the doctor's office and check in, and I head down to the bathroom to change Londyn. I get her out of the carseat only to realize my hand is covered. Heaven help me. I shouldn't have to go into much detail, just use your imagination. So, 5 wet wipes and 10 minutes later, Londyn is finally clean. Oh, by the way, remember how I said we were running late? In the mix, I forgot to pack an extra outfit for Londyn. So what did I do? What any good (forgetful) parent would do. I made a baby blanket toga for my baby girl.
Her check up went great! Found out she was just over 24 inches long, in the 97th percentile, and her weight was 11lbs 14 ounces. That brought her in at the 80th percentile. Hard to believe she was 3 weeks early with those numbers! Her Doctor asked a series of questions, went through a couple of exercises with Londyn, and concluded she was "early" in development for a baby her age! Mike and I were SO proud! We have such a big, and SMART baby girl! Then came time for the dreaded shots. Heaven help me! Naturally, she cried when they gave them to her. As soon as I picked her up and comforted her for a couple minutes, she was back to her smily, happy-go-lucky self! I was so proud of my tough girl!
Later that day, we spent an hour and a half with H&R Block filing taxes. Heaven help me! Why it took so long....I do not know. It seemed even longer than that to me because I knew if Londyn woke up, she would be sore, and she would NOT be happy!(again, ticking time-bomb) She did so good though, making it all the way until the end! I took her to the car as dad finished up. Londyn woke up and just as I predicted, she wasn't happy. I have never heard my baby girl cry as hard as she did for those 30 pain-staking minutes. I cried with her, heaven HELP ME! We gave her some tylenol, and drove in circles around the parking lot trying to console her. After what seemed like an eternity, we got her calmed down enough to put her in the carseat, and drive home. I fed her, held her, and rocked her for the rest of the day and night.
To any first time mommies, I wish someone had told ME this bit of advice BEFORE her shots; give your baby a dose of baby tylenol about 20 minutes before the shots, so that you can try to get ahead of the pain. Waiting until they are IN pain to give it to them is miserable for everyone involved!!
Then to end my day, one of my best friends finally made the announcement that she and her husband are expecting their first baby in October!! I was elated!! HEAVEN HELP ME! I now have 2 best friends expecting babies in consecutive months, one in September, and one in October! I absolutely can't wait for the fall!
March 27th was a day for the books to many. However any other mother knows, thats just a day in the life of motherhood. I love every.single.minute.
Monday, March 24, 2014
From Two Pink Lines to Two Petite Feet
January 27th 2014, at 9:49 PM, Mike and I were blessed with our first born child! Londyn Brooke Haney made her appearance 3 weeks early, weighing in at 7lbs 6oz, measuring 20 and 1/2 inches long. Now, according to my prenatal care, she was 3 weeks early. However I think they were off by 2 weeks the whole time, because I had calculated different dates, and I just couldn't imagine having a larger baby.
Since I had already told the story of Londyn's birth on "Two Pink Lines", I won't repeat the whole thing. I wanted to instead share some thoughts and feelings I've had since Londyn has been here. So here is a list of tips, thoughts, feelings, and emotions I think a lot of 1st time moms (or perhaps even a mom on her 3rd or 4th kid!) could relate to, in no particular order!
1. You will eventually get to sleep in longer intervals than 45 minutes.
2. Put lotion on them a thousand times a day if you want, they'll still peel like crazy for the first few weeks!
3. When you think you've packed enough diapers for an outing, pack 3 more.
4. To anyone who ever told you nursing is a blessing, and a beautiful thing, you will curse their name for that first week. After that, you'll join the choir and try assuring the next first-timer you know, that it is indeed a phenomenal thing, and tough it out, it's worth it!
5. The clothes that look so huge when they are first born, yeah, those sneak up on you in a couple weeks, and if you're not careful, you'll miss some outfits because by the time they LOOK like they'd fit, they're actually too small.
6. EVERYTHING is a phase. EVERYTHING. (I'm told this doesn't change as they get older either. Guess I'll have to find out on my own.) If they scream when you change their diaper, it will pass. Just when you think you've found the best way to soothe them, just wait, they'll change.
7. Staring at their sweet face doesn't get old. At least it hasn't for me at 8 weeks.
8. Panicing when you think about them being around other kids, its normal.
9. When experienced moms say "You're always more careful with your first kid", you'll laugh and say "Yeah you're probably right" but secretly inside you'll think, "Yeah right! I'll have to be this careful with ALL of mine, with the hood-rats I see running around today!"
10. That soft-spot on their head freaks you out to no end. It probably freaks dad out even worse when he discovers it 2 weeks after their born. You'll spend 10 minutes assuring him it is normal.
11. Remember how you got tired of hearing people say "Oh you just wait till you have your own!"? (or the times you'd complain about your dog and get the equivalently annoying "you aren't ready for a kid if you can't handle a dog".....I wanted to smack them too) Well, now you get to graduate to "Try having 2 or 3 kids!".
12. You're not a bad person for reconsidering the idea of having more kids after your first. For one, a newborn child is overwhelming, and the thought of having another one when THIS kid reaches their toddler years is scary as all get out! Oh, and you're not the only one who wonders how you could possibly love another child like your first. Trust me, coming from a middle child, it's possible, I'm the favorite. Right mom? (Something tells me my sister and brother feel the same way about themselves lol)
13. You will find yourself saying or thinking "Well I wish someone would have told me that sooner!" very often. The hospital staff do all but stick a bumper sticker on your car that says "Good luck!" on the way out! (And no, no one has made a book for first time moms and things they should know. Probably because they know you'd never have time or energy to read it.)
14. To add to number 13, I recommend making friends with experienced mommies as soon as you find out you're expecting. You'll want real life help, the online forums will only freak you out.
15. Not being able to sleep because you're pregnant and uncomfortable, and not being able to sleep because you have a newborn baby, they are two separate things. At least now when you wake up, its because the miracle of human life, not just because you can't hold your bladder for longer than an hour.
The last 5 things are for those who are married when you have your first child.
16. Remember you have a husband. He still needs love too. He still needs attention too. Remember you didn't marry him to have this child. Don't kick him to the curb emotionally.
17. You won't come to the realization of number 16 right away. If you have a good man, a Godly man, you'll be okay. He will be understanding and patient, and never make you feel an ounce of guilt for being completely submerged in new motherhood. (Thanks babe)
18. Your husband is trying. Do not have preconceived expectations for his role. Every team is different. He may not be a diaper changer. He can't really help with feeding if you nurse. He stresses out when the baby cries because he can't console them like you can. Give him credit, and THANK him for all he is doing to help. (Especially if he works to provide for your family)
19. Guys, I have some words for you too. As a new mom, she is a mess. Even though you're her help mate, she feels the weight of responsibility for the well-being of this kid on her shoulders. Be her support, be her saving grace, pray for her a hundred times a day, tell her she's doing an amazing job, especially after she calms a crying baby. You have been her rock since the day you fell in love, don't let that change now. In fact, magnify that, now more than ever.
20. She still likes to be close to you. She doesn't always feel beautiful or desirable because she can't always fix herself up. You have to make the effort a lot of the times. Don't dismiss this.
So thats really all I have today. I can't wait to actually share the fun journey of motherhood as a 1st timer with you! It is the most challenging, yet rewarding job I've ever had.
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